What was Said and What it Meant
by violetstarbucks
Summary: Jounouchi Katsuya retells a forbidden story in an interview. Knowing some things are better left unsaid, why does he insist on telling his story involving Kaiba Seto? JxS
1. Chapter 1

"First Jounouchi-san, I need your uttermost approval," A fist sized recorder was placed on the table. "This conversation may be recorded, replayed, and published."

One might've noticed a flutter of movement. One might've defined it as hesitation. One might've saw that it was fear in his eyes, and one might've caught all his vulnerability within that split second. But that one didn't seem to exist. And without one's existence, no one will ever notice the lie and its fault. He was thankful for that.

Then his thin lips drew together to smile.

"Why not."

What was Said and what it Meant

A Few Hours Ago

"I don't know where to start. This is such _big_ news, I can't even imagine how the public will react to this. Hell, I don't even know how to react to it myself. I mean, I can't miss this opportunity, it's going to be my debut as a journalist, I can_ feel_ it- but this isn't anyone I'm writing about, this is-" She whispers.

"Kaiba Seto. The perfect human recipe in full flesh and blood- I can't even _deal_ with this right now. My luckiest chance in life actually feels like the heaviest burden simultaneously. How is that even possible?"

"Sorry, am I rambling again? It's exactly seven. One more hour and I'm doing this. I'm _actually_ doing this. No- don't go, I really need to talk to someone right now. I'm scared shit-less. It feels like I'm going to be eaten alive by the truth. We're not ready for this. None of us are. No, actually, that's a very good point. I wonder how he feels. I wonder how he feels right this moment. I don't know. I think he just _really _needs the money. Do you know how much this is worth? This issue, for him, is probably going to send his grand-grand-grand children and all his fore comings to college _while_ he's traveling the world three times a week. I'm serious. A single word about Kaiba-sama, especially if it's true, is worth diamonds. You're incredulous, I can tell, but I swear to you. Fine, don't come running back to me when I'm filthy rich and using my bills as toilet paper. Don't go- I'm already starting to sweat. Yes I have the tape recorder right here. Yes we'll listen to it together. I hate you. Bye."

She finally put her phone down and realized how sweaty her palms were. She tried to look nonchalant but all she can hear in her empty room is her heart beating like a ticking bomb.

An interview is all it is. She had her twenty questions written down by hand _and _typed up to make it fool proof. She calculated every aspect of distraction possible and made sure none of it would ever occur. She might as well prepared everything and more.

Yet what did she expect? For this to be an epiphany? For this chat to be mind blowing, shocking, absurd, _regretful_? She had no idea.

* * *

"Jounochi-san, I can't thank you enough for this opportunity. I am truly honored-"

"That's good enough Saitou-san. I'm not here to be flattered." He spoke curtly.

His character had quite changed. He wasn't the adolescent duelist anymore. He was just another bitter Japanese man. Sarcastic, perhaps cruel, but most of all: faithless.

"Well, if I may, I'd like to start by asking some questions concerning just you Jounouchi-san." She waited for his approval. He nodded and she continued. "You've been in the limelight familiar times in the past and it was Japan's joy to watch you grow. You gave us a thin shard of hope concerning your generation and especially its ex-delinquencies, no offense, and helped older generations to compromise and somewhat understand the differences between the old and the new. After a famous friend of yours moved to Egypt, Japan saw the disbandment and was devastated. You were the only one left here, how did it feel then?"

"You sound like you already know." His empty smile remained on his face. "Motou Yugi's decision was brave. But it was also selfish. He knew what he wanted and nothing was going to stop him. Not even his friends he always preached about. From then it just went downhill. Anzu went to America to follow her dream as a dancer, Otogi followed her using his fledgling company as an excuse, Honda's now in Germany boasting something about being a soccer player. In more ways than one, it's really a melancholy joyride for me. Everyone's out there doing what they love, getting into a mess, but loving every single moment of it. I was stuck here with no plan for myself except to sit and rot.

Some kid asked me one day. 'Did you expect to play card games all your life?' I did. I expected myself to die with a poker face. With the same faces cheek to cheek and the same voices right and left. I just figured it wasn't like that the hard way around."

"The hard way? Please do explain."

"I got into gambling. Ironic, I know- but it's also most fitting. Saw society's true faces and it's safe to say I still haven't seen all of it. Did you know the top ten companies in Japan all share the same blacklist?"

"No I didn't."

"To keep it simple, let's say a man owes one company a dollar, then through a chain reaction he owes all ten companies a dollar because they all share the names of the victims. Ultimately the man isn't paying a dollar, he's paying ten times that."

"So you were involved in the riot two years ago."

"That wasn't a question, so I won't answer that." He managed to wink. "Money has always been a problem for me. It came to a point I couldn't afford myself a new pair of shoes. No word would ever be adequate to what I was feeling then. I had no choice but to start anew.

"So what did you do?"

"Started off small, going back to part time and living clean. It wasn't much but it kept a roof on top of my head. I actually liked where I was at. That time in life, it felt like I couldn't go lower. I finally hit the ground, I couldn't be falling anymore."

"And Yugi-san stopped contacting you altogether?"

"I stopped. I was tired of keeping something so intangible. I might regret this in a few years, but so far I'm doing fine. I didn't have to pretend anymore."

"So nothing has changed since then?"

"Yes."

"I see. So if I may, how does ..he enter the scene?"

"He doesn't. I enter in his."

She gulped unnoticeably. He takes a sip of his coffee.

"I wonder how this is going to affect our lives. All of us." He mused. "I wonder what this will make of us."

She reached over for the recorder and pressed the stop button. He raised an eyebrow and she kept the recorder in her lap.

"I'm ready to stop whenever you are Jounouchi-san. I don't have to publish any of this, you have a choice."

"No. Thank you Saitou-san, but it's inevitability that will crush us, not my mere words."

She slightly flinched at the word 'us' but remained composure. She pressed a button and the interview continued.

* * *

**Author's Note**: I know it's incredibly confusing now- but as the story unfolds, so will your inquiries. I hope you enjoyed and please R&R. I'd appreciate your feedback and love to hear from all of you!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary: **Jounouchi Katsuya retells a forbidden story in an interview. Knowing some things are better left unsaid, why does he insist on telling his story involving Kaiba Seto? JxS

What was Said and what it Meant

_Two Years Ago_

"You're fucking twenty- what the hell do you know?"

"I know that Kaiba is smarter than that. I know him better than any one of you. Kidnapping his brother isn't his ultimatum- it's his suicide letter."

"Even fucking better, kid. That bastard needs to realize his company doesn't rule this country."

"It's not his death we're after, it's his _money_," Jounouchi began to shout. "You think he's afraid of dying? You think he's like us? You think he'd be alive if he were to go through this hell? We're not alive because we choose to be! We're alive because we're too god damn scared to die!"

"You don't make any fucking sense kid. If you want to die, _die_- no one's stopping you. The world won't wait for your reincarnation. Don't be fucking dumb."

"That's it. That's brilliant. That's perfect." Jounouchi muttered under his breath. The group of middle-aged men began to whisper.

"What the hell is?"

"I have to meet him."

"Who?"

"Kaiba."

"Are you _insane?_ This kid is gone. He's going to fuck it up for all of us. He's done."

"No, wait, listen." His eyes began to glisten. "I have a history with him, I'm sure you all know that. We hate each other's guts. That's what I needed.

I'll be in his office by midnight. He's going to let me in. Just for old time's sake. He's going to want to drown me in my misery. Tell me I'm a failure. It's perfect!

Look, I can't tell you guys the details. But it'll work. If it doesn't, you can do whatever the fuck you want. Go light his elevators on fire. I don't care."

* * *

"I don't have time for this."

"But you let me in, didn't you?"

"It's safe to say I had _some_ expectations out of you Jounouchi. I wanted to see how you turned out after high school. You labeled me as your rival and my expectations for you were the least I could do for my _name_ sitting beside your pathetic rage."

He looked the same. Even time couldn't phase Seto Kaiba.

"But at the same time it isn't surprising for you, right? Seeing me like this- I look like I belong here, don't I? You used to preach it all the time- what happened? I'm sure this view is enjoyable to you."

Whatever he said would have given him a feeling a triumph in the past few years. But instead Seto felt bitter. This was never how it was supposed to be.

"What's your point?"

"My point is- despite the expectations, the result is too familiar, too predictable. We all thought of great things, we all waited for it to happen but it didn't. Do you know why? 'Cause we just sat there and waited.

Yami's never coming back. Yugi's trip to Egypt is just his first step into denial. Otogi's never going to tap Anzu front _or _back because she went to California not New York. America's a big country, I'm sure you noticed. Honda can't be a soccer player because he hates soccer. He thinks it's his easy way out.

Mokuba's out there conquering all the fields of life you were never able to but ultimately he's going to fail- do you know why? He's not _you._"

"Get the fuck out of my office."

"So in the end, it's just you and me, stuck in the same zone as we were born in. And what are we doing Kaiba? We're just waiting." The blond continued, ranting as he chuckled.

"You're absolutely wrong. I've built myself to be here. I created myself to be standing where I am today-"

"So you're telling me you've somehow escaped your loneliness? That you're somehow _freed_ from the pain you've felt for the last twenty years of your life?"

Kaiba Seto held Jounouchi's collar and reeled him closer.

"What the hell do you know? Answer me Jounouchi- I'd _love_ to hear you talk about my life like it was your childhood picture book."

"You expected something out of me because you hoped for it. You hoped that I would prove you wrong. You hoped that I would turn out better than the shit that I am now. Do you know why Seto?"

Kaiba's eyes widened at his name.

"Because to you," Jounouchi shed a teardrop. "You're me.

"W-What?"

"You see in me what you see in yourself. You listen to me and it's what you told yourself every night before you close your eyes to dream a nightmare. You wake up and you say the same things to relive the same days over and over again."

"You're insane."

"That's the second time I heard that today and I never felt better. Are you purposely holding me so close so you can look down on me? I've already crashed, it's dangerous Seto-sama, and I'm steep."

"Don't fuck with me."

"The truth is- I'm broke. I'm at a point where I have to sell myself to pay off all the debts I'm in. And I know you're involved in this."

"You have no proof." He replied as he threw Jounouchi to the ground. "You _would_ get yourself into that mess. You _would_ be stupid enough to fall into it."

"That's funny- I thought that was your way of summoning me."

"I will kill you Jounouchi-"

"Lucky me," Jounouchi stood up and smiled. "There's going to be a riot. They want to kidnap Mokuba. Out of ten, you're the only one with the soft spot. Everyone knows about your brother complex-"

Kaiba threw a punch and Jounouchi fell to the floor once more.

"I told them we won't have to go through the trouble. I told them tonight would be the night we're free."

Kaiba lifted Jounouchi by his hair and pushed him against the wall.

"I told them you were going to set us free."

"You _imbeciles_ without plans, without goals, without _dreams_ got into this mess. Get yourselves out with your pity."

"Then just me. Get me out of here. Please."

* * *

**Author's Note: **I hope that wasn't _too_ out of character. I think we, as fanfiction writers, all have this fear of re-creating the characters into our imagination but it's the crossing over the thin line of originality that burdens us all. This chapter is just a flashback and the interview will progress. I'm sorry for the late update :( Thank you for reading and please R&R!


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